Monday, October 15, 2007

I'm on a Roll...

Or rather, the rolls are on me. And I'm SICK of them.

Could tomorrow be the day?

My doctor suggested I might have an eating disorder, which I kind of blew off...but I think she might be right. She said she would give me an appetite suppressant, but really, I don't eat because I'm hungry...I eat because I want to eat. Not a good sign, is it? She recommended a few, more costly programs, but then suggested Over eater's Anonymous. That's free, right? I pulled up their website tonight...they had a meeting 4 hours ago, which I missed, of course...but I'm kind of freaking out right about now. (Honesty is the best policy, right?)

Are You a Compulsive Over eater?
Welcome to Over eaters Anonymous. This series of questions may help you determine if you are a compulsive over eater.
Do you eat when you're not hungry?
Yes. Every day. All the time.

Do you go on eating binges for no apparent reason?
Yes. Sometimes I have a reason...not a good one, probably, but a reason, nonetheless. Most of the time, though, it's just eating.

Do you have feelings of guilt and remorse after overeating?
Yes. God, all the time.

Do you give too much time and thought to food?
Yes. I call it menu planning...but I think about food constantly.

Do you look forward with pleasure and anticipation to the time when you can eat alone?
Yes. Because I don't want people to judge me on what I'm eating, so I hide it.

Do you plan these secret binges ahead of time?
Yes...

Do you eat sensibly before others and make up for it alone?
Sometimes.

Is your weight affecting the way you live your life?
Yes.

Have you tried to diet for a week (or longer), only to fall short of your goal?
All the time. Every day. Every moment for the last 20 years.

Do you resent others telling you to "use a little willpower" to stop overeating?
No, but I've never had anyone tell me that...except for my doctor. (And I resented it.)

Despite evidence to the contrary, have you continued to assert that you can diet "on your own" whenever you wish?
Yes.

Do you crave to eat at a definite time, day or night, other than mealtime?
Not necessarily.

Do you eat to escape from worries or trouble?
Yes. (Does it help? No--but that doesn't mean I stop trying.)

Have you ever been treated for obesity or a food-related condition?
See my post on fat lady problems. I'm currently considered pre-diabetic and suffer from PCOS.

Does your eating behavior make you or others unhappy?
Me. Me. Me. It's makes me unhappy.

Have you answered yes to three or more of these questions? If so, it is probable that you have or are well on your way to having a compulsive overeating problem.

I'm freaking out. I'm scared to go alone...but I need help. (You hear that? I need HELP!)

1 comment:

Kathie said...

Hello! :)

I found a link to your site on Bargain Hunting Moms... my username is itzonlyme. I just wanted to send some ((Hugs)) and let you know that I know how you feel. I'm a member of the chub club... should probably be president.. lol. :)

Anyhow, I bookmarked your site and will be back to read more and more. I don't have a blog, but maybe one day when I grow up..heheh.

Ohh.. btw, I remember what stuck out first in this post...was the appetite suppressant. I just asked my doctor for one and it's really amazing. Like you, I eat to eat. No reason, just because. But with the suppressant, I have honestly been forgetting to and the urge/compelling feeling/food for thought is just not there. Weird.

**Biggest Hugs** :)