I felt great all day today. It was my weigh-in day, and I've been very, VERY good. I drank lots of water and prayed for a good day on the scale. Suddenly, this afternoon, I started to feel bloated. By the time I drove to my meeting, I felt so fat I could barely breathe.
At some point today, I was distracted by my arm laying on the desk. (I often get distracted by various parts of my body, if you hadn't noticed.) I pinched some flab, poking at the softnes, pulling the skin around my bones, trying to imagine what they would look like skinny.
I can't see it. I have huge arms. I hate them...and while I can feel the muscle I've been building, it's buried under layers of flab. And my hands are ridiculous. So small, I can't play piano because I can't reach the whole octave. My aunt has small hands, but she has slim wrists, also. I have small hands attached to thick wrists which morph into heavier arms.
I feel like a skinny girl trapped in a Fat Lady's body and I'll always be saddled with these Fat Lady arms. (Not that I'll be a skinny girl any time soon.)
I don't know why I'm feeling so down on myself today. I did GREAT this week. I'm down a total of 13.2 pounds. Good for me...and my Fat Lady arms.
Monday, January 05, 2009
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