Wednesday, January 28, 2009


I've always been ashamed of my weight. I lie about it on my driver's license. I refuse to be weighed at the doctor's office. I didn't own a scale for years.

The day I went to the doctor's office and found out I was pregnant--seven years ago, I weighed 247 pounds. A couple months later when I went in for my first OB appointment, I weighed 232 pounds. They yelled at me for losing so much. (Like I knew or could help it that I was throwing up every three seconds. Anyone else throw up in the doctor's office parking lot? That always seemed to be a good target for some reason.)

Over the next few months, I slowly gained back that 15 pounds. I never wanted the Hubster to look at the scale, but I know he did. (Sneaky bastard.) As I passed 247 and edged closer to 250, I got more and more nervous. I did not want to hit that number.

On what turned out to be my last OB appointment--the do-you-want-to-be-induced-in-3-days-or-in-7? appointment--I hit it. 250. I cried.

Six days after Little Sister was born, I had a wicked case of mastitis. I was throwing up in the shower sick. It was also her first doctor's appointment and I got on the scale, too. After having my seven pound, four ounce little bundle of joy, I weighed 230 pounds again. Very exciting. The doctor gave me some antibiotics and told me to keep breast feeding and said the weight would fly off.

It didn't.

230 became 250 again. 260. 274. That's the highest I ever weighed myself at, when I started Weight Watchers 3 years ago.

Those are numbers I will never see again.


A couple of people have asked me where I'm at now...and I know that I haven't been sharing the numbers this time around, for some reason.

It wasn't intentional. Just something I didn't think of. I'm not shy about my weight any more. I'm proud of where I've come from and what I've conquered.

When I started WW on November 3, 2008, I weighed 258.8 pounds.
At my last weigh-in, on Monday, I weighed 243.8.

More numbers I will never see again.


I'll never forget where I came from.
And I'll never go back.

Not this time.


Anonymous said...

Dear 240’s
We’ve know each other for a long time now, and when I first met you I thought you were great. You were new and exciting. I’d just gotten through a very tough relationship with 250’s (he and I didn’t get along very well and I felt depressed most of the time we were together) when you came along like a breath of fresh air. I was proud to be seen with you. I liked going shopping with you for new clothes, and most of my friends said we looked great together. I was so happy to be with you.
But lately I’ve become dissatisfied with our relationship. I know it’s not fair to bring up issues from our past but I’ve never really forgiven you for those flabby upper arms when we first got together. And it seems like lately all we do is fight about the whole fat, flabby belly thing (I know that’s not all your fault and that I’m still carrying baggage from my relationship with 260’s and pregnancy but it’s still something we’ve never agreed on and I’ve decided I’ve had enough).
I think the time has come for us to go our separate ways. In fact, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I will be leaving you in the next few days and I don’t plan on ever coming back. I know we’ve been getting along really well these last few weeks but I think that’s partly because I knew things were ending between us (sorry) and because I realized that I did’t have to settle. I know I can do better. This might seem harsh but we both knew from the beginning that I didn’t want this to be a long term thing. Actually, you probably sensed this was coming by how much time I’ve been spending at the gym and how much salad I’ve been eating (isn’t it ironic that the thing that brought us together in the first place is now the very same thing that’s helping me get away from you).
Anyway, I wish you all the best. I’m sure there are lots of other girls that are longing to be with you but I am not one of them anymore. Maybe you could settle down and have a happy, long term relationship with someone taller.

Not trying to be offensive, just if you hadn't seen this, I thought it might give you a smile and maybe ad to your motivation, which I cheer!

Regular Cinderella said...

I love it! Thanks for the laugh!